How to help a loved one suffering with anxiety

Provide physical help

Sometimes the smallest gestures can have the biggest impact. If you know they’re struggling with housework while they’re coping during a bad time, showing up with some rubber gloves and helping them to tackle their chores can make the world of difference – it takes one less issue off their plate and allows them space to feel like they can focus on other problems.

Similarly, offering to drive them to places, help them do a food shop or suggesting you do a gym class together are invaluable ways of taking the responsibility off someone who is struggling, and allows them to get things done without having to summon the courage and energy to complete daily tasks, which can often make them feel like a failure if they don’t get them done.

Offer emotional support

When it’s emotional things weighing more heavily on them, it can seem much harder to offer help. Set aside time to ask how they’re feeling, and listen as often as they need you to. It can feel frustrating listening to someone circle around the same problems time and time again, especially when you can’t actually help them, however, feeling heard and as though someone cares enough to want to understand is utterly invaluable. Anxiety has a sneaky way of making you feel like you’re potentially crazy, that you’re failing, and everyone is sick of hearing you struggle with the same things time and time again. So please don’t tell someone that they’ve already told you that or the age-old; “Well what do you expect me to do about it? You have to fix it yourself”. THEY KNOW. They always know you can’t possibly fix their emotional struggles, they don’t want solutions, they just want support.

As long as you treat your loved one with patience and as much understanding as you can, it will go a long, long way to helping them. Offer practical help where you can, and emotional support as often as possible. Try to gently encourage them to reach out to their GP or therapist for help as soon as they feel ready – the earlier the better. However, as their best friend, partner or parent, ultimately they’re going to want to turn to you for support, and your love and compassion will go a long, long way.

Our top 5 tips on what to avoid saying, and what you could say instead:

Instead of “Get a grip”, try “What do you need help with?”

Instead of “You just need to…”, try “Would you like me to…?”

Instead of “You need therapy”, try “Would you like me to make you a doctor’s appointment?”

Instead of “It’ll be fine”, try “I know it’s really hard right now, but together we can improve things.”

Instead of “You don’t have it that bad, it could always be worse”, try “Let’s make a list of everything positive you have, and everything you feel like you need help with.”