By Jo Dunbar

Let’s get one thing straight. Celebrating Mother’s Day is a privilege, not a right.

To have a happy and healthy child of your own, or a mother you treasure is something wonderful and it’s worth remembering that not everyone is in the same position right here, right now.

A friend of mine, herself a mum of two, confessed to not really enjoying Mother’s Day all that much. “Too much pressure,” she said. And she’s right. There’s sometimes a strange unspoken expectancy about what treats or gifts you might receive. There’s been a shift in recent years suggesting we should all have a picture-perfect day; slap up lunch; spotless outfit and piles of perfectly-wrapped expensive gifts. And if your day doesn’t stack up like that – let’s face it, whose does? – with argumentative or sullen children; no lunch reservation made; or flowers that don’t turn up, it can be very easy to feel a bit miffed

This Mother’s Day, I’d like to see a bit more mindfulness around what can be a tricky day for some. Letterbox florist delivery service Bloom & Wild https://www.bloomandwild.com/ have set a great example, allowing customers to tailor their marketing preferences so if a painful calendar event is approaching, you won’t receive an email bombardment. Molton Brown have a similar policy and other brands and sites are following suit.

What Mums really want...

Before having children, I would have been sucked in by the glossy adverts promising scented candles that cost £80 or pricey pyjamas that wouldn’t survive in the washing machine.

But in actual fact, a mantel piece adorned with a handmade card or a small child’s scrawl across a cheap Card Factory offering represents so much more than an idealised post on social media or an advert suggesting what mums should receive.

So, from a mum’s perspective, what is it that would really enhance Mother’s Day? For me it would be the simple things: A cuppa in bed, the opportunity to start and finish the Sunday papers and generally a day without having to give over any headspace to meals, plans, domestic chores or refereeing squabbling children. A nice long soak in the bath. A walk along the coast. A large glass of wine. A sit down.

It’s the little things, I guess, that can make or break Mothering Sunday.

By all means cherish your mum and celebrate your kids, but, as we so often tell each other, be kind.