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Mother’s Day | Let’s get realistic

March 22, next weekend, is Mothering Sunday. Too often we are pressured into designing the perfect day. Jo Dunbar says we should keep things simple and be mindful of those experiencing loss or longing

Written by High Life North
Published 13.03.2020

By Jo Dunbar

Let’s get one thing straight. Celebrating Mother’s Day is a privilege, not a right.

To have a happy and healthy child of your own, or a mother you treasure is something wonderful and it’s worth remembering that not everyone is in the same position right here, right now.

A friend of mine, herself a mum of two, confessed to not really enjoying Mother’s Day all that much. “Too much pressure,” she said. And she’s right. There’s sometimes a strange unspoken expectancy about what treats or gifts you might receive. There’s been a shift in recent years suggesting we should all have a picture-perfect day; slap up lunch; spotless outfit and piles of perfectly-wrapped expensive gifts. And if your day doesn’t stack up like that – let’s face it, whose does? – with argumentative or sullen children; no lunch reservation made; or flowers that don’t turn up, it can be very easy to feel a bit miffed

This Mother’s Day, I’d like to see a bit more mindfulness around what can be a tricky day for some. Letterbox florist delivery service Bloom & Wild have set a great example, allowing customers to tailor their marketing preferences so if a painful calendar event is approaching, you won’t receive an email bombardment. Molton Brown have a similar policy and other brands and sites are following suit.

What Mums really want...

Before having children, I would have been sucked in by the glossy adverts promising scented candles that cost £80 or pricey pyjamas that wouldn’t survive in the washing machine.

But in actual fact, a mantel piece adorned with a handmade card or a small child’s scrawl across a cheap Card Factory offering represents so much more than an idealised post on social media or an advert suggesting what mums should receive.

So, from a mum’s perspective, what is it that would really enhance Mother’s Day? For me it would be the simple things: A cuppa in bed, the opportunity to start and finish the Sunday papers and generally a day without having to give over any headspace to meals, plans, domestic chores or refereeing squabbling children. A nice long soak in the bath. A walk along the coast. A large glass of wine. A sit down.

It’s the little things, I guess, that can make or break Mothering Sunday.

By all means cherish your mum and celebrate your kids, but, as we so often tell each other, be kind.

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