Don’t ask me what my anxiety issues are about – it hasn’t happened yet

See the thing is, anxiety disorders don’t make us weak or terrified of everything. They make us terrified of the unknown. Tell us that something might happen and that the consequences could be catastrophic, and we’ll panic. Tell us that something is happening and what that means, and we take it on the chin.

At least, that’s my experience, anyway.

The difference between anxiety and an anxiety disorder is how relative the anxiety is, and how much impact it’s having on your life.

When we think about Coronavirus, we see people dealing with it in all manner of ways. Some are wearing gloves and face masks, some are self-isolating, some are feeling very panicked and cleaning their post with disinfectant. Others, meanwhile, are doing the conga on VE day. The strange response, in my view, is the latter, because we know for a fact that this virus is very real and very contagious, and the fatalities keep rising. We’ve every right to be anxious. We should be anxious. It’s having a big impact on our lives but it’s relative to the situation.

So those of us with anxiety disorders will obviously be far more anxious than Joe Public, right? Not necessarily. In fact, this isn’t my experience at all. 

I was concerned when I first heard about the virus. I found the idea of it coming to the UK terrifying, and, weirdly, I became obsessed with other types of health conditions – as my health anxiety often can make me do. As we entered lockdown, my job felt stressed, redundancies were a real possibility, and I was having daily meltdowns, lots of tears and plenty of wine. My GP put my anxiety meds up (I take antidepressants which for some people cause anxiety, and for some, like me, decrease anxiety).

Anxiety disorders aren’t simply about being scared of life. It’s far more complex than that. It’s about being taken to terrifying places in our heads and encountering threats that don’t really exist. And it is about how these thoughts negatively impact our lives, by stopping us from doing the things we want or need to do (like getting on buses) and making us feel relentlessly ill and terrified. Coping with anxiety is a minefield.

We are not all hiding in corners of rooms or peeking behind our front doors like Aunt Josephine from Lemony Snicket or nervous Mavis from Coronation Street. The things that scare us would scare anyone – it’s just that most people would be able to distinguish between the perceived and the actual threat.

Some seriously kick-ass women are dealing with crippling anxiety. Mental health warrior Natasha Devon took the government to task on Question Time and is a regular public speaker. Similarly, BAFTA-award-winning actor Rebecca Front has a hugely successful career. Both have openly talked about having panic attacks.

I guess my message is this: if you are feeling anxious about the pandemic, that’s pretty normal. However, if you find that you can’t do seemingly simple things like stand in a supermarket shopping queue (pre-pandemic, I mean) without having a panic attack then it might be worth speaking to your GP. But know this – it definitely doesn’t make you weak and you should never feel ashamed.