Advice I would give my younger self

This time showed me that happiness could (and should) be sought in all parts of my life, and that I shouldn’t be living for the weekend. It allowed me to get some space from my work which, for the past three years, had all but consumed me. This time to reflect also allowed me to step back and look at myself – how can I make sure that I take all the right steps to allow happiness to bleed into every part of my day, of my life, and of my outlook. Not only my own happiness, but that of those around me too.

In doing so I also found myself looking back at my past, at my childhood and formative years. I suppose in the latter part of my (short) life, time has moved so fast: with moving out, going to university, graduating, finding employment and then trying to be successful in that employment. My time in furlough – although not sought or expected – brought up the question: if I could, what would I say to myself 10 years ago? What advice would I give? What warnings and encouragement?

Looking back, I would have greatly benefited from knowing that, in reality, the most important thing for me was not losing weight and being like my peers, but believing in myself. Now I know that’s a cliché, but it’s a cliché for a reason. I spent far too much of my time then and, if I’m honest with myself, now too, thinking about what I look like. No matter how many times my mother reminded me that most people really don’t care what size I am – that they have their own things to think about – it was my primary concern. I was too fat; scout leaders had told me, boys at the local swimming pool were kind enough to point it out. I wanted to be skinny and beautiful, like my friends.

So, 14-year-old Rosie, take this down: your appearance will fluctuate, weight will come and go, spots will fade, your hair will change styles and your fashion sense will develop. Let all of that happen. Work on it if you want to, but don’t allow it to be everything to you. You are an individual, a unique human that can be whoever she wants to be. Focus on learning about the people around you, on being confident in your decisions and your ability to survive and grow. Learn from (and laugh at) your mistakes and take them in your stride – although it might look like it, there are no perfect people with perfect lives. Work hard, and, to quote my beloved mother, let all the nasty comments and bad thoughts wash off like water off a ducks’ back.

Just be – and love – the person you are.