9 embarrassing Christmas party stories that will make you happy this years has been cancelled
Spoiler alert: the following features alcohol, sex, vomit, alcohol, slut drops, circumcision, alcohol, rug burns and… did we say alcohol?!
Oh, the work’s Christmas do. A veritable minefield of potential carnage, where you’re toeing the line between not getting too drunk and embarrassing yourself in front of your boss or, well, getting too drunk and embarrassing yourself in front of your boss.
If, like us, you’re being lulled into thinking you miss all of the festive antics, let these low-key mortifying stories of Christmas parties gone by be a stark reminder that they’re rarely all they’re cracked up to be.
I really, really love you
“A friend was in love with one of her senior colleagues, who had shown no sign of liking her back. At last year’s Christmas party, she was REALLY drunk and plucked up the courage to tell him, saying: ‘I’m really nervous to tell you this, I know this might be a shock but I’m in love with you.’
“He replied: ‘I know, you told me at last year’s Christmas party.’”
Was it all a dream?
“I don’t actually remember what happened, so my story is based on what colleagues told me – and continue to tell me. I boasted to my boss that I could do 10 shots of vodka in a row, taught the secretary how to ‘slut drop’, told the colleague no-one likes that no-one liked her, and woke up at 3am in the open back part of a truck with absolutely no recollection of what happened. I then took a selfie of myself in said truck to later prove why I was late to work. And yes, I do still have that selfie.”
“I felt slightly uncomfortable at my first Christmas party so what do you do when you feel uncomfortable? Drink. And boy did I drink. I remember sitting in a quiet bar near the end of the night telling people exactly what I thought of them. I told one lady I thought she was a brown-noser. I then remember being in the hotel room with all our other colleagues and our CEO. I was dressing him up like a Christmas tree; I think I had stolen all of the Christmas decorations from the hotel to do this. I woke up about 4am spooning another staff member, with people scattered everywhere in a hotel room. I spent the day having flashbacks not knowing which were real.”
“I got so drunk at our first staff Christmas party that I rang my partner to come and pick me up, only to immediately forget I’d asked and got in a taxi home. I left my phone on the wall where I was sat, and he waited in town for over an hour for me. I had a lot of making up to do the next day.”
Black Eyed Friday
“We had a good fight (about 30 people) at the bar that our party was hosted at. Then my manager vommed and passed out – and someone stole his Gucci belt.”
Let’s get personal
“My friend got so drunk that she ended up going round the party asking all the women there if their husbands or boyfriends were circumcised, and all the men if they themselves were circumcised.”
I can still do it, watch
“I decided to brag about my past as a gymnast, then proceeded to do a backflip in the office lobby. Woke up with rug burn on my forehead…”
Plus one disaster
“I used to work for a high-end fashion brand and every year they held a Christmas party at a swanky locale in London. I brought my boyfriend along; we got dressed to the nines and all my colleagues and their significant others went to the event in a party van. It was beautiful and luxurious and full of important people, so clearly, my boyfriend thought it was the perfect place to take copious amounts of shots and get really drunk. He got so drunk that, on the van ride back, he passed out and vomited, numerous times, all over the floor. Because we were in a moving vehicle, his vomit spread around with each bump and turn, eventually splashing on my colleague’s designer shoes. Guess who had to clean up the mess, which had covered the majority of the van, when our journey ended? Me. Side note: We are no longer together.”
“They stopped our parties because two coworkers got drunk and wanted to fight in the parking lot. The sales secretary, also drunk, was offering to show her boobs to people on the dance floor.”