WHY HAS DIVORCE INVOLVED BLAME?

Our current laws require the party seeking a divorce to persuade the court that their marriage has ‘irretrievably broken down’. How does someone achieve this? Well, unless relying on a separation of two or five years, an element of blame must be put on the other party. This is achieved by either listing examples of how appalling the other party has behaved, or by proving they have committed adultery (and it’s not that easy to prove someone has had sex with another person, unless they admit it!). So, the most common approach has been to list the bad behaviours of the other party.

The court then considers the allegations of bad behaviour and decides if the couple’s marriage has, in fact, irretrievably broken down; for fear a divorce may be refused, this can lead to an escalation in the allegations made by one party to improve their chances of achieving a divorce. This, in turn, often results in the other party threatening to contest the petition in a bid to exonerate themselves from blame. And so it goes on…

Divorce is difficult enough. The ‘blame game’ pits separating couples against one another from the outset – inflaming matters, resulting in delays and increased legal costs. The petition then sets the tone for an acrimonious divorce and, in some cases, has a truly poisonous effect. Whilst this sideshow continues, more important matters – such as reaching a financial settlement and agreeing the arrangements for the children – are largely ignored.

WHAT DOES A NO FAULT DIVORCE MEAN FOR COUPLES?

As a lawyer, I understand the benefit and the positive changes that these new laws will bring, having witnessed first-hand the untold and unnecessary misery and stress the requirement to engage in the ‘blame game’ has caused countless divorcing couples. Now, we can focus purely on their future.

The removal of blame has been much welcomed among the majority of my clients, many of whom have held off divorcing in recent months as they’ve waited for the new laws to come into effect.

Some clients have reacted differently. One such client expressed horror at the new laws, resentful that her husband – who has had an affair – is now ‘blameless’ for the breakdown of the marriage. An emotionally-charged petition – blaming the other for the breakdown of the marriage, whilst it makes no difference to any financial outcome – has been a cathartic process for an aggrieved party in the past, and brought about a degree of closure.

The new laws will not be without their smaller challenges. Regardless, they will bring long-overdue reform to archaic divorce laws and, I genuinely hope, will allow more divorcing couples to do so with dignity.