- Feel Good
- 2nd Oct 2024
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Loss of libido? Dr. Ashling Doherty shares her secrets on how to get it back
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Loss of libido can happen to anyone at any stage of life. Whether you’re in a long-term relationship that’s lost its spark, going through menopause, or feeling rejected by your partner’s low libido, it’s a common yet often silent struggle.
Even now in 2024, talking openly about fluctuating desires still feels taboo, often making you feel isolated or ashamed.
But you’re not alone. Studies show that about one-third of sexually active women experience a drop in sexual interest, often due to stress, low mood, hormonal shifts or other factors.
If you’ve already tried aphrodisiacs like oysters, chocolate, or even the more exotic suggestions, and nothing seems to change, it may be time to address deeper causes. That’s where Dr. Ashling Doherty, a leading Newcastle psychologist specialising in sexual health and mental well-being, can help.
MEET DR ASHLING DOHERTY
In her clinic, Dr. Ashling Doherty offers a warm, inviting environment where she helps individuals and couples rediscover their sexual well-being. Her approach to treating loss of libido is holistic, considering your mental, emotional and physical well-being.
It’s not just about sex – it’s about understanding the deeper factors at play. We caught up with Dr. Ashling Doherty to get her expert advice on addressing the loss of libido and how she helps you rekindle your sexual desire.
WHAT IS LOSS OF LIBIDO?
While we often use the term ‘loss of libido,’ what does it really mean? Dr. Ashling Doherty, explains, “Low libido is a decrease in sexual desire that can be short-term or long-term. Our sexual energy, like our mood, naturally fluctuates throughout our lives. These changes can be due to starting a family, having children, or entering menopause.”
“Libido ebbs and flows, and while these changes are normal, they can sometimes leave you feeling confused or distressed. I’ll help you address the psychological, social and biological aspects of your life and can help pinpoint what’s affecting your desire.”
WHAT SHOULD YOU DO IF YOUR SEX DRIVE IS LOWER THAN YOUR PARTNER’S?
Differences in libido are common in relationships, and Dr. Ashling Doherty encourages open communication. “Talking openly with your partner about feelings, preferences and expectations can help bridge the gap,” she says.
Rather than labelling one partner’s libido as ‘low’ or ‘high,’ Dr. Ashling Doherty, suggests you focus on understanding each other’s needs without judgment. “You don’t have to be in perfect sync with your partner in every aspect of your relationship and that includes sex. What’s important is normalising these differences and opening up the conversation.”
HOW OFTEN SHOULD YOU BE HAVING SEX?
There’s no magic number of how often we should have sex, and Dr. Ashling Doherty stresses that quality matters more than quantity. “We often get fixated on frequency, but what really matters is emotional connection,” she says.
Dr. Ashling Doherty explains that foreplay and intimacy start long before the bedroom and maintaining that emotional bond is more important than obsessing over numbers. “Putting too much pressure on frequency can take away the joy and connection from sex. It’s more about understanding your relationship’s needs and what works for you as a couple.”
HOW CAN YOU SUPPORT LOW LIBIDO?
If you’re struggling with low libido, Dr. Ashling Doherty, recommends taking a holistic approach. Prioritising a nutritious diet, regular exercise and managing stress can make a difference. But she also advises focusing on your relationship with yourself.
“Your relationship with yourself is just as important as your relationship with your partner,” says Dr. Ashling Doherty. “Solo sex is an essential practice in understanding what you enjoy and what makes you feel good.”Exploring your own body can help you communicate better with your partner, strengthening both your intimacy and your connection.
In today’s culture of perfectionism, body image can also impact libido. Dr. Ashling Doherty explains that reducing self-criticism and working on body acceptance can help alleviate some of the anxiety around intimacy, allowing you to feel more confident in your sexual life.
REDEFINING THE MEANING OF SEX
Sometimes, loss of libido stems from the meaning we attach to sex. For some, sex is fun and enjoyable, while for others, it may feel like another task to complete. Dr. Ashling Doherty encourages you to explore what sex means to you and to share those feelings with your partner.
“Talking openly about what you like or don’t like in your sexual experiences is key,” she explains. “Whether it’s exploring different parts of the body or setting new boundaries, communication is essential for a healthy sexual relationship.”
Dr. Ashling Doherty, 8 Ackenside Terrace, Newcastle Upon Tyne NE2 1TN
Rachael Ellis
Creative Solutions Manager
After gaining a first in her BA Media and Journalism degree at Northumbria University, Rachael worked at Newcastle’s leading regional newspaper with her stories being picked up in national and global newspapers She spent two very successful years giving a voice to those communities across the North East who otherwise…
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