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- 29th Nov 2024
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Coping at Christmas: Dr. Ashling Doherty’s tips for the festive season
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Christmas is often referred to as the ‘season of joy,’ but for many of us, it can feel more overwhelming than joyful.
Whether it be that packed social calendar, the financial pressure to create the perfect day or managing family dynamics, it can be a very chaotic time all for just one day.
We caught up with Dr. Ashling Doherty to get her expert advice on how to cope at Christmas and make the most of this challenging time of year.
HLN TOP TIP: Want to feel body confident for your Christmas party? Dr. Ashling’s shares her advice here.
FEELING LONELY AND ISOLATED
It’s not unusual to feel lonely or isolated during the festive period. Whether you’re physically alone or surrounded by plenty of friends, loneliness is about feeling disconnected. “It’s important to remember that you are not alone in feeling this way,” says Dr. Ashling. “Many people experience feelings of loneliness during Christmas.”
Even though you might see others posting happy moments on social media, remember that’s not always the reality. Dr. Ashling advises staying connected with your regular activities. “Continue your hobbies and routines to avoid further isolation,” she says. “Christmas is just one day, and though advertisements and social media often show perfect families, that’s not a true reflection of everyone’s life. Also, try to keep your alcohol intake in check as it can amplify feelings of loneliness.”
FACING FAMILY DYNAMICS
Many of us often dread family festivities. The idea of spending extended hours with family members you may not get on with can be daunting. Dr. Ashling says that we need to set boundaries. “Think about how much time you want to spend with family,” she advises. “If past events have caused tension, recognise that and adjust your expectations.”
Dr. Ashling also encourages using healthy communication techniques to manage conflicts. “When addressing issues, use statements like ‘I feel’ instead of ‘You make me feel’,” she explains. “It’s about focusing on resolving conflict constructively, not escalating it.”
For those struggling with difficult family members, Dr. Ashling suggests focusing on the positive aspects of those individuals. “No one is perfect,” she says. “Even if someone in your family, like a mother-in-law or a sibling, has caused tension, remember they’re human too.”
AVOIDING BURNOUT FROM FESTIVITIES
The holiday season often comes with a packed social calendar, and it can be easy to feel overwhelmed. With back-to-back events and gatherings, it’s important to pace yourself. “Pacing is key,” Dr. Ashling advises. “Look at your calendar for December and decide which events you truly want to attend. It’s okay to say no.”
She also suggests taking some time put for yourself to recharge. “Take breaks when you can,” she says. “Even a short walk outside or some time for yoga or meditation can help you feel more grounded and less stressed.”
LETTING GO OF PERFECTIONISM
The pressure to create the ‘perfect’ Christmas can be exhausting. From flawless decorations to luxury presents, these sometimes unrealistic standards can leave us feeling anxious. Dr. Ashling reminds us that perfection doesn’t exist. “Focus on progress, not perfection,” she advises. “Christmas is about spending time with loved ones and creating memories, not about getting everything exactly right.”
People often worry about how others perceive their efforts, but Dr. Ashling reassures us: “People won’t remember if the decorations were perfect or if the presents were expensive. What matters is the quality time spent with friends and family.”
NAVIGATING FINANCIAL STRESS
The financial strain of Christmas is stressful, especially with the rising cost of living. Dr. Ashling suggests being mindful of your budget and avoiding impulse purchases. “Sales can be tempting, but before you buy, ask yourself if you really need the item,” she says.
“Setting a budget can help you avoid overspending, and it’s also worth considering making gifts – sometimes handmade presents can be more meaningful.”
It’s also helpful to keep an eye on the bigger picture, Dr. Ashling adds. “Christmas is just one day, but the expenses can carry into January. Plan ahead and make sure you have some savings for the new year.”
LOOKING AFTER YOUR MENTAL HEALTH
If you have mental health issues like depression or anxiety, the pressure to be joyful during Christmas can feel overwhelming. Dr. Ashling encourages people to continue socialising but to manage their time wisely. “If you’re feeling down, try not to isolate yourself,” she says. “You don’t have to attend every event, but staying connected with others is important. Let people know if you’re not feeling well – communication is key.”
She also reminds us that it’s okay to skip celebrations if it’s too much. “It’s okay to not celebrate Christmas in the traditional way if you’re not up for it. Focus on what feels right for you.”
COPING WITH GRIEF
Grief can be especially hard at Christmas when memories of loved ones are everywhere and that empty seat at the table. Dr. Ashling advises taking it slow. “If you’re grieving, it’s okay to give yourself permission to take a step back,” she says. “You don’t have to attend every event or even go to the shops. If you need time off work, take it.”
Grief doesn’t have a set timeline. “We need to normalise that grief lasts a lifetime, but it does get easier with time. There are bereavement support groups available, and it’s helpful to talk to others who understand.”
For further support and to book a consultation, contact Dr. Ashling Doherty on 07871301079 or [email protected]
Dr. Ashling Doherty, 8 Ackenside Terrace, Newcastle Upon Tyne NE2 1TN
Rachael Ellis
Creative Solutions Manager
After gaining a first in her BA Media and Journalism degree at Northumbria University, Rachael worked at Newcastle’s leading regional newspaper with her stories being picked up in national and global newspapers She spent two very successful years giving a voice to those communities across the North East who otherwise…
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