- Feel Good
- 7th Feb 2025
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- 0 minute
Unlucky in Love? Dr. Ashling Doherty’s dating advice for finding romance in 2025
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If you’ve swiped through dating apps, changed your “type” and still haven’t found love, Newcastle psychologist Dr. Ashling Doherty is here to your romantic rescue.
Specialising in sexual health, relationships and mental well-being, Dr. Ashling Doherty offers practical tips to navigate complicated modern dating life and build meaningful connections.
DR. ASHLING DOHERTY DATING ADVICE GUIDE TO FINDING LOVE
Be authentic, it’s attractive
Trying to impress someone by being someone you’re not? It’s tempting but so counterproductive. Real connections are built on honesty. The right person will value the real you, so embrace your quirks and stay true to yourself.
Understand your attachment style
Are you secure, anxious or avoidant in relationships? Knowing your attachment style can help you recognise patterns and improve communication. For instance, anxious types may overthink while avoidants may pull away. Understanding these tendencies helps create healthier interactions.
Communication is everything
Good communication goes beyond sharing surface-level info like favourite colour. Dive deeper – talk about values, goals and views on life. These conversations create emotional intimacy and help you understand each other better.
Manage expectations
Nobody’s perfect, and no relationship will meet every ideal. For instance, if someone isn’t ready for commitment, respect their boundaries. Not every connection will work out and that’s okay.
Take it slow
Avoid rushing into relationships. Let things unfold naturally and don’t dive in headfirst too soon. Taking your time allows the relationship to grow organically without unnecessary pressure.
Boost self-awareness and confidence
Dating starts with knowing yourself. Regular self-reflection helps you understand your needs, triggers and emotional patterns. Confidence also plays a big role – self-assured individuals attract healthier relationships, while low self-esteem can lead to dependency. Work on building a positive relationship with yourself first.
Fear of rejection
The fear of rejection can lead to avoidance or self-sabotage. Try to remember it’s not personal—sometimes the timing just isn’t right. See dating as a fun learning experience, not a search for “the one.” Focus on whether you enjoy the time together.
Dr. Ash also warns against black-and-white thinking, like assuming someone isn’t interested if they’re not texting constantly. Early dating stages are about balance – give things space to grow and communicate clearly if you notice shifts.
Respect boundaries
Healthy relationships are built on mutual respect. Know your limits and respect your partner’s. Whether emotional or physical, boundaries ensure a balanced, supportive connection.
PSYCHOLOGICAL INSIGHTS FOR UNDERSTANDING DATING
Attachment Theory
Your childhood bonds shape how you connect as an adult. Secure attachments lead to stability, while anxious or avoidant styles can create challenges. Recognising your attachment style offers clarity on your behaviour. Plus your experience in your previous relationships and how they ended will also influence your attachment.
Similarity-Attraction Hypothesis
We gravitate toward people with shared values and interests. This explains why finding common ground can make building a relationship smoother.
The Halo Effect
Attractiveness often leads us to assume other positive traits like kindness or intelligence. Don’t let looks overshadow deeper qualities when dating.
Love Languages
Gary Chapman’s theory highlights different ways people express and receive love. Understanding your partner’s love language – be it acts of service, quality time or physical touch – can strengthen your bond.
Reproductive Strategy Theory
This theory explains why some people seek short-term flings while others prioritise long-term commitments. Knowing what you’re looking for (and what your date seeks) ensures you’re on the same page.
NEED MORE RELATIONSHIP OR DATING ADVICE?
Dr. Ashling Doherty offers a warm, inviting environment where she helps individuals and couples focus on their relationship issues and sexual well-being. Her approach to relationship advice is holistic, considering your mental, emotional and physical well-being.
For further support and to book a consultation, contact Dr. Ashling Doherty on 07871301079 or [email protected]
Rachael Ellis
Creative Solutions Manager
After gaining a first in her BA Media and Journalism degree at Northumbria University, Rachael worked at Newcastle’s leading regional newspaper with her stories being picked up in national and global newspapers. She spent two very successful years giving a voice to those communities across the North East who otherwise…
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