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By Jo Dunbar

Perhaps you approach Mother’s Day with a smile, maybe you shrug it off with an eye roll as just another weekend, or maybe Mother’s Day is a date you dread every year. 

Although it may seem like the whole world is snapping up bouquets of flowers and fancy hand creams to give their mums; or being showered with affection by little darlings, there are plenty of us, too, who find Mother’s Day heart breaking or who are facing their toughest one yet. Whether you are struggling with a difficult relationship, mourning a mother or grandmother or longing to be a mum yourself, Mother’s Day can present a huge obstacle to overcome. This year in particular, many of us are social distancing and not seeing our mums to keep them safe. 

Relate Counsellor, Dee Holmes (relate.org.uk), told High Life North that it’s okay to be selfish and to do what you need to do to get through the day: “Understand that Mother’s Day may bring up some painful or mixed feelings. Do what works for you and be kind to yourself rather than trying to please other people. Also remember that it is okay to do something that distracts you and that you enjoy – this is not being disloyal to your grief. Allow yourself time to grieve and be alone with your thoughts if that is what you want to do.”

It’s not just grief from a bereavement that can make Mother’s Day a difficult date. If you have experienced loss or longing regarding your own children, then Mother’s Day can be a painful time. As Dee says, be honest about your feelings: “Don’t feel afraid to say, ‘This is hard for me’. The day can be what you make it, so try to avoid too much hype if that is going to make it harder for you.”

Whatever you decide to do, we wish you a peaceful Mother’s Day.

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