When you have lost someone you love, each big event can be a bittersweet reminder of the person you are missing. It can be hard to enjoy any special moment when faced with the fact that the person you have lost is missing out.

Grief is a normal part of life that unfortunately we are all going to experience.

With the approach of Mother’s Day, we spoke to Tynedale Hospice at Home who not only offer end-of-life care but also offer a range of bereavement support.

What does grief feel like?

Bereavement can have a very real effect on both our bodies and our minds. The NHS lists a range of symptoms relating to grief, including shock, tiredness, anger and guilt. Bereavement can feel as though life is on pause and everyone else is continuing on while you struggle to continue.

Even after a long period of time, special occasions and important dates can bring grief to the surface and bring about very difficult emotions.

Coping with Grief

There are many ways to get help for grief.

Bereavement Cafe’s: A bereavement cafe is a safe space to talk about grief or listen to others experiencing grief in a safe and supportive space. Tynedale Hospice at Home run regular Bereavement Café’s in Hexham, Prudhoe and Ponteland with the aim of bringing together and supporting those in the community who have experienced the loss of someone close to them. The cafés operate on a drop-in basis and offer a safe and comforting space for people to come together, regardless of how recent or how long ago their bereavement was.

Speak to a Bereavement Volunteer: Tynedale Hospice at Home offers pre and post bereavement support from a team of specially trained bereavement specialists. They offer both one to one and group support to help you work through the very difficult emotions of grief. This is a free service for any stage of grief.

Mindfulness: While you might find it difficult to sit in stillness as this is when your emotions might be most noticeable, beginning a mindfulness practice can be helpful. Whether it is mindful breathing or guided meditations, this practice can help you in those moments when grief feels overwhelming. Apps such as Calm and Ten Per Cent Happier are a great place to start.

Speak to your GP: If your grief is becoming overwhelming it may be time to see your GP and seek help. While grief is a part of life, if it is having a significant impact on your life for an extended period of time then it might be time to ask for help.

Grief on Mother’s Day 

We spoke to Daisy Maher, a family support practitioner at Tynedale Hospice. If you’re coping with loss this Mother’s Day, she recommends spending ‘the day how you feel you want to.

‘It might be that it helps to celebrate the day and do special activities that remind you of your mum. This could include: visiting favourite places, cooking favourite meals, listening to favourite songs or watching favourite films.

‘It may be helpful looking through old photographs or videos. Some people may find it helpful to visit a grave or special place and lay some flowers or gifts.

‘On the other hand, the day may be too painful to celebrate and so it might be that a day on the sofa or a nice long walk is the best way to spend Mother’s Day. It may be a nice idea to zone out from the rest of the world and enjoy your favourite things instead and forget about the day.

‘I am sure that is probably what most mother’s would want, their loved ones making sure they are okay and looking after themselves. Whether you choose to spend the day alone or filled with friends or family, make sure you listen to your own needs as it is a difficult day so be kind to yourself.

‘It might be therapeutic to release some of your thoughts on paper by journaling how you feel or writing down favourite memories with your mum or things that have happened that you wish you could tell them.’

Journaling prompts for Mother’s Day

Whether you have tried journaling before or not, this could be a great tool to help you cope this Mother’s Day. To help you get started we have put together some journaling prompts. You can either use each one and just start writing, you can sit and meditate for a while and then set a timer for each prompt and try to free write; writing without stopping for a set amount of time and not judging or looking back at what you have written to truly release your thoughts.

• Today I am feeling…
• Today I am remembering my mam, she taught me…
• My favourite memory of my mam is…
• When I think of my mam I think of…

Support from Tynedale Hospice at Home

If you are coping with a bereavement and live in the Tynedale, Ponteland and West Northumberland area, then Tyndale Hospice at Home is here to help.

Daisy explained, ‘We offer a free and confidential service to anyone living in Tynedale, Ponteland and West Northumberland who is experiencing bereavement, whether they have been touched by hospice care or not. Our family support team are available to support adults, children and families with their grief.

‘We offer 1:1 sessions at the Hospice office for adults and children where we actively listen to our clients and offer validation and comfort.

‘We are also able to see children in schools, if that option is best for the parent and child, to help alleviate any additional pressure and offer a more familiar setting to the individual.

‘We aim to help those left behind, cope and adapt in their new situation.’

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